I was shattered and disgruntled about an article I read about myself on www.adomonline.com written by an anonymous reporter with the headline – “I Like To Tie My Husband Up, Lash Him During Sex”.
Much as I was surprised at the tone and intent of the article, my main concern is, during my interview with Joselyn, there were series of important discussions and questions posed at me. What’s the point of singling out that particular assertion of mine when there are matters of importance to put out. Let’s not forget the fact that “Keeping It Real With Joselyn Dumas” is more a less like a reality TV program or better still a “hot seat” program where invited guests are been asked random questions which must obviously be answered without any fear and regret.
Here’s the question that triggered my answers to Joselyn’s questions;
Q. How do you manage to keep your marriage interesting.
A. Unpredictability. Imagination is important to help your marriage be exciting. I play scenarios out in my mind and experiment with my husband. Having dates with my husband and playing dress up in the bedroom. Men are turned on by sight. And you want to be the sight that all others have to measure up to.
Q. How do you get your husband to enjoy role play.
A. It takes time to build up to excitements in the bedroom if your husband is not so imaginative. Start slow let him be in control first by suggesting blind fold then him tieing you up then the journey begins. But I like been in control in the bedroom so I would tie him up and blind fold him and use a leather strap on his body. (It doesn’t mark the body, it the sound and the touch of it on the body that’s exciting ) or any exciting toy I would find. A little pain to pleasure can be erotic. Everyone has to find what works for them. To stay in a marriage for 29 years you need to be excited by each other. Sometimes we just sleep.
Q. Would you introduce other people into your marriage.
A. Absolutely not. Recipe for disaster. No Where to go from there but downhill. Emotions get involved. Respect could be compromised. My husband couldn’t handle another woman as well as me. I’m too much he’ll have a heart attack.
Q. Does exercises help flexibility in the bedroom.
A. For absolutely sure you can do so much more when you’re fit. Work your pelvic floor muscles during sex is mind blowing for men.
The program was about keeping it real. There’s no point lying to ourselves about our sex lives, sometimes it’s important to share to allow others to learn. You can take what will help and leave the ones that won’t. We are all different. Why not look at the whole scenario as a married woman who has had over 2 decades of marriage experience advising other women who lack some of these educations.
Signed: Stephanie Benson